"I don't talk to the help".
Very old lady at the grocery store said it to the black kid bagging her groceries. Unreal.
"Flush out the toxins..."
"I've never read a book in my life!"
It only pisses me off when they actually seem proud of that fact.
"I'm not cleaning up the mess that I made, that's the custodians job."
Proudly declaring that they "Don't do computers" as if somehow the tool that's ubiquitous in every workplace to enable their efficiency, is beneath them.
'But you could do it for free, it'd be good experience'
I work as a freelance film-maker, this comes up far to often.
Anything implying that just because something is "natural" (whatever that means), it is good for you.
"Because we've always done it this way!"
"I'm just brutally honest." Being an asshole isn't a virtue.
"If you can't handle my flaws, then _________"
You don't get to defend the ways in which you're a dick just by saying "I'm allowed."
"Its a doggy dog world out there."
"Well my doctor said I need to ______ but I don't think doctor knows anything."
Or alternately "My doctor said I need to _____ but my sister said that I'll be fine so I'm not going to listen to him."
No, doctors do not know everything.
No, funnily enough doctors are not capable of giving every individual they see the perfect diagnosis and course of treatment for their specific circumstances on the very first try.
But yes, doctors are still likely to be a better source of advice for the majority of people on the majority of subjects than "stuff that I found in this one article on the internet" or that poultice of honey and goose fat that your mom's aunt Bertha swears by.
"I'm a better driver drunk/high."
At Uni, when studying in the field of your own choice: "Haha, I cheated on the exam, and the bitch (professor) didn't even notice!"
"I'm not vaccinating my kids" or "vaccines give kids autism."
"Learning history is nonsense, I want to look forward not backwards"
I shit you not, somebody said this to me once.
"You know, humans only use ten percent of their brains". Could not be more inaccurate
To clarify, I don't judge, or look down on, people for believing this. If someone tells me this as if they're teaching me some invaluable lesson, that's what bothers me.
"Real Americans..."
"My horoscope says..."
"Bisexuals should just pick a side" And, "Women can't rape guys."
Speaking negatively about somebody the second they walk away from the group. Like you cant wait to trash talk somebody to make yourself interesting... Just no.