We all know the employees at Goldman Sachs are busy as they run around in smart business suits from meeting to meeting. But when they pause for a second, waiting for the elevator to go up to the 45th floor, what sort of work gossip do they indulge in? As it turns out, mostly advice. The twitter account @GSElevator has documented many things heard in the Wall Street building. These are some of the best tips overheard about being a man.
- Stop talking about where you went to college.
- Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.
- Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.
- It&rquo;s ok to trade the possibility of your 80s and 90s for more guaranteed fun in your 20s and 30s.
- Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row... Unless something really good comes up on the third night.
- You will regret your tattoos.
- Never date an ex of your friend.
- Join Twitter; become your own curator of information.
- If riding the bus doesn&rquo;t incentivise you to improve your station in life, nothing will.
- Time is too short to do your own laundry.
- When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.
- If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.
- Hookers aren&rquo;t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
- When people don&rquo;t invite you to a party, you really shouldn&rquo;t go.
And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn&rquo;t go. - People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.
- When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
- Tip more than you should.
- You probably use your mobile phone too often and at the wrong moments.
- Buy expensive sunglasses. Superficial? Yes, but so are the women judging you. And it tells these women you appreciate nice things and are responsible enough not to lose them.
- Do 50 push-ups, sit-ups, and dips before you shower each morning.
- Eat brunch with friends at least every other weekend. Leave Rusty and Junior at home.
- Be a regular at more than one bar.
- Act like you&rquo;ve been there before. It doesn&rquo;t matter if it&rquo;s in the end zone at the Super Bowl or on a private plane.
- A glass of wine or two with lunch will not ruin your day.
- Learn how to fly-fish.
- No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
- Own a handcrafted shotgun. It&rquo;s a beautiful thing.
- There&rquo;s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.
- You can get away with a lot more if you&rquo;re the one buying the drinks.
- Ask for a salad instead of fries.
- Don&rquo;t split a check.
- Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
- When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.
- Be spontaneous.
- Find a Times New Roman in the streets and a Wingdings in the sheets. She exists.
- Piercings are liabilities in fights.
- Do not use an electric razor.
- Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don&rquo;t mind that she&rquo;s eating yours.
- Buy a tuxedo before you are 30. Stay that size.
- One girlfriend at a time is probably enough.
- #StopItWithTheHastags
- Your ties should be rolled and placed in a sectioned tie drawer.
- Throw parties.
But have someone else clean up the next day. - Measure yourself only against your previous self.
- Take more pictures. With a camera.
- Place-dropping is worse than-name dropping.
- Your clothes do not match. They go together.
- Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
- Staying angry is a waste of energy.
- If she expects the person you are 20% of the time, 100% of the time, then she doesn&rquo;t want you.
- Always bring a bottle of something to the party.
- Don&rquo;t use the word “closure” or ever expect it in real life.
- If you are wittier than you are handsome, avoid loud clubs.
- Date women outside your social set. You&rquo;ll be surprised.
- If it&rquo;s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.
- You cannot have a love affair with whiskey because whiskey will never love you back.
- If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
- No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
- Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
- Eating out alone can be magnificent. Find a place where you can sit at the bar.
- Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else&rquo;s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party – provided that you don&rquo;t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading...”
- Ignore the boos. They usually come from the cheap seats.
- Don&rquo;t ever say, “it is what it is.”
- Don&rquo;t gamble if losing $US100 is going to piss you off.
- Remember, “rules are for the obedience of fools and the guidance of wise men.”