foreword
These lists are equally offensive and ignorant. If there is any point to be gleaned from these, it is that Conservatives write more clearly and use better grammar and punctuation.
12 reasons to vote democrat
- I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my pet goat.
- I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.
- I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.
- I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
- I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.
- I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten years if I don't start driving a Prius.
- I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.
- I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the social security from those who paid into it.
- I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.
- I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
- I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us, for their oil, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
- I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly planted up my ass, it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.
bonus reasons...
- I voted democrat because it's better to sit on my butt and collect a check while others work to support me.
- I voted democrat to punish people who made wise decisions and lead fruitful and productive lives, so they can support a lazy bastard like myself and my sorry offspring.
- I voted democrat because welfare is a career!
- I voted democrat because they hate America as much as I do.
- I voted democrat because we need Muslims to take over our country just like they have taken over so many European countries, and they will put an end to that free speech nonsense.
Top 12 Reasons to Vote Republican
- I voted Republican because you can blame problems on poor people instead of the rich ones who actually run things.
- I voted Republican because firefighters and teachers are scum-sucking leaches, but the oil companies raking in record profits NEED those hundreds of millions in taxpayer subsidies.
- I voted Republican because I believe companies like my cable TV provider, insurance company and credit card company could do a better job running the country than the government, no matter how much they screw me over.
- I voted Republican because I don't trust the government, although I favored the government spying on my health/financial records and tapping my phone when Bush was in office to keep us safe from ‘trrists.
- I voted Republican because I don't really care whether terrorists, murderers and drug dealers own guns or not.
- I voted Republican because I believe climate change doesn't exist; if I can't see it with my own two eyes, it doesn't exist. Like gravity.
- I voted Republican because I hate women having abortions, but once the baby is born and dies from a preventable illness that's okay.
- I voted Republican because I believe in laying off workers to boost profits; then I get to complain about lazy unemployed people.
- I voted Republican because I understand capitalism. Demand doesn't increase jobs; ensuring corporations pay no taxes and cutting healthcare and education does.
- I voted Republican because I care about the deficit and support cutting services that I really need. But extra tax cuts for the super-rich that actually caused the deficit should be extended indefinitely.
- I voted Republican because I believe in never having to solve any problems in the government because I insist government is the problem anyway.
- I voted Republican because I hate activist judges, unless they are conservative (Yes, corporations should get to spend unlimited money in elections).
apparently liberals can't count...
- I voted Republican because spite and fear is better than hope and change.
When your family or friends cannot explain why they voted REPUBLICAN, give them this list. Then they can then pick a reason from this "TOP 12".
- I voted Republican because I believe oil companies who make obscene profits of 4% on a gallon of gas can destroy the environment, but who cares we only smell the air from inside our butts.
- I voted Republican because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money on imaginary wars than on feeding the poor.
- I voted Republican because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as I'm the only one who's opinion counts.
- I voted Republican because I'm irresponsible and own a gun, and I know that my local police should be disbanded and I should shoot at will. Doesn't matter kids are only collateral damage, right?
- I voted Republican because I believe God knows more than scientists. He is coming to take us on the Mother ship Fri, Right?
- I voted Republican because I'm more concerned about millions of babies who haven't been born yet, then the million that are all ready here. After all we need more bodies for the war in Iran , Right?
- I voted Republican because I think illegal aliens should be shot on site. Who cares if they built my house.
- I voted Republican because I believe that business should require employees to pay them to work there. After all they would be just fine without their employees, right?
- I voted Republican because I believe I the Constitution is to be used at my discretion. Who cares about women, people of color or Gays.
- I voted Republican because I think that it's better to pay billions to people who hate us for their oil, but complain for 40 years about it while simultaneously making a mint off oil investments.
- I voted Republican because we live in the greatest, most wonderful country in the world and we want to shove that message down everybody's throat.
- I voted republican because my head is so firmly planted up my backside, I'm drowning in my own verbal diarrhea.